5.13.2003

Creativity. I was looking at another blog just now, one by Alex Beauchamp, a freelance writer from Seattle. And I was amazed at how I resonated with some of what she said about being a writer and having a desire for creativity, particularly in this article: Baby Steps. I feel sometimes like I have such a strong desire to write, to express myself in a creative and artful way. But I've never been successful; I've never been particularly artistic. I've always done well with music and writing, but the other side, the photography, the painting- I've never stood out as incredibly gifted. Yet I have a desire to incorporate these things in my life. Sometimes, I like to envision a life lived in bold colors, with freedom and satisfaction in knowing that I'm doing what I want to do. I'm still young-- I have time to work out this vision into reality. But I want to succeed. I don't want to just live it for awhile and have it flop. I want it to be the satisfying existence that it seems to be for others. And the risk that's involved always frightens me just a little, just enough to prevent me from ever taking that first step. Of course, I'm still in the process of getting to the point of adulthood; I have yet to graduate from college. But there's a life I want to be living that I'm not. And I don't want to merely look at other people's lives and copy them. I want it to be my own thing. But what that is exactly, I'm not sure of yet.

No comments: