There are some days when I could care less if I never saw another middle school student again.

Today is one of those days.

It seems like right before a big holiday or vacation, the students go crazy. Plus, my patience is limited because I'm just as worn out and ready for a break as they are. How do I manage them and not pull out my hair? How do I control them, be firm in disciplining them, and not humiliate or dishonor them? Some days, I find that my tolerance well is about dried up. I get so frustrated with myself because I feel as if I'm inconsistent with what I do and don't allow. One day, a little chatting doesn't bug me at all. The next day, it is enough to get someone a detention.

I can tell I'm stressed by end-of-year projects because lately I've been mixing up all the wrong words. I look at a student and say the name of someone else. I mean to say "experience" and I say "extrovert." Random words popping out instead of what's supposed to. I feel like some of my wiring is coming loose. Maybe it's from all the intense sound waves that are generated by all the seventh graders in the world, shaking the brain around in my skull.

My dilemma is this: our play has a cast of 25--too many for me to handle all by myself. But next year, if I go with a smaller, more manageable cast, we lose audience members. And audience members (and their tickets) are the only means we have at this point of raising money to pay for things like our sets, our microphones, and our props. I can't get a helper--everyone is taken, and no parents are willing to volunteer. After rehearsals like today's, I just feel tempted to throw in the towel and say, "Enough!" But I really want the students to have an opportunity to experience drama and the thrill of putting on a show. However, I'm stretched so thin at my job right now, that I feel like when my time is wasted (as it was today at rehearsal), there's so much other stuff that's just as important that I could be working on.

Okay.
I think I'm done venting.

Facebook is crazy--I'm remeeting all of these old high school buddies. How weird is that?? I guess I just must have a thing for people from my high school. Well, LCS was a pretty great place (or at least that's how I remember it), or my class was awesome. I know some people have a different opinion about it, but all I really remember from high school is what pertained to me. Very self-centered, admittedly, but what high schooler isn't? Come to think of it, I remember Sarah Nun always being pretty "aware" of things. I liked that about her.

She also was great help at studying for finals.

Anyway.

Dinner is calling. I have the option of bbq chicken or subway. I get a baked sweet potato either way.

By the way, I am officially calling myself "in love." Just typing that makes me want to throw up, but I figured there are friends out there who should know that this whole relationship thing is headed in a serious direction. Look up Liz M in Fort Myers Florida if you're interested in more.

That was a boring post.

So I've finally fallen into this whole facebook thing. Who knows--I'm so bad at posting regularly, I'm sure I'll suck at this too. Oh well. Maybe not.

So...long time no post. Spring semester seems to be even more hectic than fall, if that's at all possible. Plus I'm realizing that my priorities right now don't always include spending time on the web. But here's a brief update.

Latest Awkward Situation: This weekend, I went to see Amazing Grace, the new film about William Wilberforce, and on the way out, I realized I didn't have my keys in my purse. My purse had fallen over during the movie, so I went back into the theater to see if I could find them. After giving my sweater to the ticket lady as collateral, I got back into our theater and started hunting. On hands and knees, poking around under seats, I searched all over. Finally I decided to empty out my purse in desperation. There, in the bottom, wedged into my billfold, were my keys. I just took them out quietly, put everything back in my purse, announced to the teenagers cleaning the room that I had finally found them, and acted as if they had been right under the chair where I thought they were. I didn't tell my friends either--I guess I didn't want to look stupid.

Newest Love: I've been dating (for almost two months now--I'm about to break my own record!) my friend Clint. We dated before in college, and we've been good friends since I was a freshman in high school. Things are good. We're long distance, because he lives in Chicago (which sucks) but somehow we've been able to see each other at least once a month. He's coming to visit in a couple weeks, and I can't wait. We're pretty serious but pretty goofy. It's a nice combo.

Most Recent Aspiration: Returning to grad school. I've almost finished my application the local state university for an MA in English, and I'm getting very eager to become a student again. I was looking at the class list again the other day, and I caught myself drooling...

New Music I Like: Leeland, Sarah Kelly, Plumb's new album Chaotic Resolve

No new books as of late--I'm developing my 2007 SummerReadingList, and I have a student who wants to get together over ice cream this summer and talk about books. Her mom thinks it's cool, and so do I.

Biggest Change in the Last Month: I've decided to stay at my current job. I actually resigned from my position as music/English/drama teacher and had started applying all over. I even visited Chicago feeling 90% sure I was going to move there. That didn't pan out how I thought it would; I got reoffered my old job; I had a family offer me a free place to stay; I got offered tuition assistance for Grad school by my current job. So I said "yes" to everything, even though it meant a complete reversal of everything I thought was going to happen. God is creative and surprising, but he is always providing in amazing ways for me. He is awesome.

I think that's all. Life is good. I am happy.

Rats. I had just finished my post when everything got frozen. I'm going to be more abbreviated now:

Books I recommend:

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter (Carson McCullers)
Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice (Dr. Rosanna Hertz)
Spying on the Bomb (Jeffrey T. Richelson)
The Madonnas of Leningrad (Debra Dean)
Everything is Illuminated (Jonathan Safran Foer)

Books I do not recommend:

Shadow Baby (Alison McGhee)

Books I have heard are good or looked good at Barnes and Noble:

Swallows and Amazons (Arthur Ransome)
The Christian Mind (Harry Blamires)
The Last King of Scotland (Giles Foden)
Broken for You (Stephanie Kallos)
The Glass Castle (Jean Walls
Crow Lake (Mary Lawson)
Charming Billy (Alice McDermott)
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)

Music I'm currently listening to:

The Crane Wife (The Decemberists)
Too Far to Care (Old 97's)
Transatlanticism/Plans (Death Cab for Cutie)
Woman King/Our Endless Numbered Days (Iron and Wine)
Strange and Beautiful (Aqualung)
Are You a Dreamer?/Philadelphia Songs/Safely Away (Denison Witmer)
Keep It Together (Guster)
The Swimming Hour (Andrew Bird)
Song of the Traveling Daughter (Abigail Washburn)
Sundayrunners (Sundayrunners)
Summerteeth (Wilco)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Soundtrack (Jon Brion/Polyphonic Spree/etc.)

High Points of 2007 so far:

a new relationship (an old friend in a new light)
20 kids in my chorus elective (instead of the 10 last semester--and I have six boys who might actually want to sing!)
39 out of 44 middle schoolers want to either be in or help with the spring play (it may have something to do with the fact that it's not a musical and they get to have sword fights--I'll take what I can get)
a potential move (maybe Chi-town??)
a new job next fall (not sure where yet)

That's a lot for only two weeks. (It may or may not include some hold overs from 2006). Hope you all are well and maybe still checking this blog.