Was It a Morning Like This?

I was a little disappointed with Easter this year. Recently, I have been singing at a local Catholic church as a cantor for a little extra cash (the Catholics pay pretty well), and I did a lot of Easter services this last week: Maundy Thursday, two on Good Friday, an Easter Vigil, and an extremely early sunrise service (it was at 10:15 on Saturday night). Now, although I'm in no way a Catholic, I have to admit that I enjoyed all the pomp and ceremony surrounding this holiday--all the litanies, the symbolic Easter candle, the pointed meditation, all the kneeling and standing. By participating in all of the special services, I really felt a sense of expectation and hope as I looked forward to Sunday. I was especially eager to participate with my church family. And then it was Sunday. I woke up excited. The sun was bright, I reread the Easter story to myself, my roommate and I had a great conversation over breakfast, we enjoyed not having to rush to Sunday School and choir practice, and we strolled into church expecting celebration.

Now I should pause here and say that my church is a great church, and the service really was encouraging, and I really shouldn't complain.

However, I was hoping for something a little louder, something that was almost overeager. I wanted loud amens. When the deacon said, "Alleluia, He is risen!" I wanted the whole church to resound with "He is risen indeed!" But the choir songs were normal, there wasn't any abberration from the typical Sunday service. We found out that there had been choir practice and Sunday school, and it seemed to me that there were too many people pointedly inquiring about where I was and why I skipped out. The rest of my Easter was enjoyable--good food, good company, swimming in our pool and feeling luxurious. But it's Monday now, and I feel a little deflated in my Easter hopes. Although even as I say that, I know it's a lie. Because even though church wasn't as rousing as I hoped it would be, my Easter hope is fulfilled in the knowledge that Christ is risen. He is risen indeed.