in third person

She thought of him as she tried to go to sleep, remembering the time in high school when he had tried to scare her by telling her that a homeless man lived in the woods behind his house and would rattle the handle of the basement door at night. She remembered that he was tall and brash. Remembered celebrating New Year's with him, huddled under a blanket by a meager bonfire with cigars. She laughed to herself in her bed, her covers drawn up to her nose. It had been years since they'd talked. Why was she thinking of him now? There was a tightness in her chest as she suddenly longed for the safe relationships of the past.

* * *

I just finished watching House of Sand and Fog. It's one of those incredibly beautiful but heartbreakingly hopeless films. It really has no hope what-so-ever at the conclusion. I felt like I wanted to cry or sleep for a long time. I think it really depressed one of my friends who was watching it. I feel slightly guilty for suggesting it... all that I knew about it was that it was nominated for three academy awards. It wasn't even that it was "bad", just that the characters all had lives that, by the end, were completely devoid of any meaning. The ultimate post-modern tragedy, complete with the death of innocence and the survivor who is nothing more than a battered husk of a person. The survival of the anti-hero.

In other news, it's four weeks from today that I will walk across the stage and receive a fake diploma. I will look like I'm graduating from college, but I will really just be pretending. I don't mind pretending though, because at least I get to go through this experience with my classmates. It seems strange that I will have to stay here and keep working at my majors for another year while most of my friends move out into the "real" world. Out of the pan and into the fire. I think of the summer and grin. My friends think of the summer and shudder.

Today I scored the highest I have ever scored in bowling. I got a 133 in my third game, after starting off the evening with a 68. Thank you Bowling HPER, my most favorite physical fitness class ever.