"We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time."

-T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"



I feel as though this has been sort of my mantra this year. A lot of exploring... subject matter, self, relationships, God. I'm starting to recognize this yearning inside myself to go back, all the way to the beginning. We've been talking a lot this year, my roommates and I, about the Big Change that's happening in about two and a half weeks. Because even if we're not all graduating, everything is changing. Nothing will be the same afterwards. And while that's wonderful and completely fine, it stirs something within us. A little melancholy, a little wish that we could keep going on in our relatively comfortable ways. And yet, there's still that strong urge to push forward. We have to keep on going, because if we tread water here, we will surely drown.

tired My vision is starting to blur... I think my contact is drying out. Yeah, I only wear one contact. And after studying for my big Curriculum and Instruction test tomorrow, I think I deserve a good night of solid sleep. I'm dreaming of crawling under my blankets, pulling them up to my nose, and curling into myself. Hopefully I can have a nice dream of spring or something equally lovely. I took a study break earlier tonight and finished watching the last hour of An Affair To Remember. A completely sentimental film, but something about it just makes me fall in love with it every time. Deborah Kerr is enchanting, and who can beat Carey Grant? (Except maybe Gregory Peck... Maybe that's why I can never be satisfied by any of the guys I date. They're too modern.) (Warning: Complete Subject Change) I just want to be done with all the stress and agony of school work. I'm feeling oppressed. How many papers can one student be expected to write in a semester?? ARGH! *sigh* Okay. Well, I can barely see; I'm going to go remove my contact and makeup and brush my teeth and put on my pj's and head to bed. Goodnight budding world.