Easter
I wish that I'd thought about Him more today. I have been so busy this weekend just preparing for Easter that I've forgotten why we're having all these special services and chapels. Tonight we're having an Easter GIFT (Growing In Faith Together-- an on campus worship service), and I want to make sure that my mind is meditating on the sacrifice of Christ. I've been on the worship team for awhile now, and so often I allow myself to get frustrated with the leadership or the timing or the extra rehearsal time. I lose sight of the fact that we are leading people to worship God. What a rare and amazing privilege. And so often I think of it as an inconvenience. I know I did this week. I was so angry that they would schedule an Easter GIFT and keep me from going home. It's bad enough that we have classes on Good Friday, but to force me to stay on campus and have rehearsals when I would rather be thinking about Jesus' death and resurrection? (Yeah, how likely is that?) How inconsiderate. Actually, my anger was inconsiderate. I have been blessed with the opportunity to come together with the body of Christ to worship Him and bask in the beauty of His presence. And all I can do is moan and complain. I feel a close kinship with the children of Israel. Hopefully, a forty-year sojourn in the desert is not in my future.

It is snowing today. Snowing in April. It made me remember my fourth birthday, when we were living in Rapid City, South Dakota. My birthday is April 24th, and for my party we had ice cream, and swam in the little blue plastic pool we kept on the deck. It was over 80 degrees. The next day, I went sledding. Four feet of snow had piled up during the night in the last blizzard of the year. The flakes today were perfect; I could see the intricate points like lace against my black coat. And yet, a quote from T.S. Eliot ran through my mind:

"April is the cruelest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire"